I've lost, I've lost my innocence

I've found my self-belief

And in a cup of loneliness

I've found instant relief

Numb

One track mind like a gold fish
Stuck inside my Petri dish
I can't breathe and I can't smile
This better be worth my while

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I got dark only to shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice
Burn, burn, burn bright

Forgo family, forgo friends
It's how it started, how it ends
I can't open up and cry
'Cause I've been silent all my life

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I got dark only to shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh it's a reasonable sacrifice
Burn, burn, burn bright
Burn, burn, burn bright

Oh, I get dark oh and I'm in hell
I need a friend, oh but I can't yell
Yeah, I'm no good, no good to anyone
'Cause all I care about is being number one

Shine, looking for the golden light
Oh it's a reasonable sacrifice

Shine, looking for the golden light
Oh it's a reasonable sacrifice (sacrifice)

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I got dark only to shine

And I light up the sky
Stars that burn the brightest
Fall so fast and pass you by
Cough like empty lighters

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I get dark only to shine

And I light up the sky
Stars that burn the brightest
Fall so fast and pass you by
Spark like empty lighters

Nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you, having fun.

Ode to sleep

I wake up fine and dandy but then by the time i find it handy,

To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing,

I go up, up, up, up, up to the ceiling,

Then I feel my soul start leaving, like an old man's hair receding,

I'm pleading please, oh please on my knees repeatedly asking,

Why it's got to be like this, is this living free,

I don't want to be the one, be the one who has the sun's blood on my hands,

I'll tell the moon, take this weapon forged in darkness,

Some see a pen, I see a harpoon.

I'll stay awake,

'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight.

Why am I not scared in the morning,

I don't hear those voices calling,

I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,

I swear I heard demons yelling,

Those crazy words they were spelling,

They told me I was gone, they told me I was g o n e.

But I'll tell them,

Why won't you let me go?

Do I threaten all your plans?

I'm insignificant.

Please tell them you have no plans for me.

I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?

I'll tell them.

On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake,

And the trees they await and clouds anticipate,

The start of a day when we put on our face,

A mask that portrays that we don't need grace,

On the eve of a day that is bigger than us,

But we open our eyes 'cause we're told that we must,

And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead,

Desperately yelling there's something we need,

I'm not free, I asked forgiveness three times,

Same amount that I denied, I three-time mvp'ed this crime,

I'm afraid to tell you who I adore, won't tell you who I'm singing towards,

Metaphorically I'm a whore, and that's denial number four.

I'll stay awake,

'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight.

Why am I not scared in the morning,

I don't hear those voices calling,

I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,

I swear I heard demons yelling,

Those crazy words they were spelling,

They told me I was gone, they told me I was g o n e.

But I'll tell them,

Why won't you let me go?

Do I threaten all your plans?

I'm insignificant,

Please tell them, you have no plans for me,

I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?

I'll tell them, you have no plans for me,

I will set my soul on fire,

What have I become?

I'll tell them,

I'll tell them,

I'll tell them,

I'll tell them,

Please tell them, you have no plans for me,

I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?

I'm sorry.

OH LONELY, LONELY, LONELY BOY

      “You’re too good for me, you’re too good for anyone.”

Submarine (2011) dir. Richard Ayoade

Don’t care if you think I’m dumb,
I don’t care at all.

What is going on

they took a little look at my brain // they come to find all is sane // they took a little look at my heart // they found a prince living behind bars

Gemini moons are restless and erratic. But this moon is quick to laughter and lively. Gemini moon natives are curious and moody. They are outspoken and spend many hours trying to analyze their emotions. Moon in Gemini feels with their head.

Chandelier

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life.”

Dead Poets Society (1989) dir. Peter Weir

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.

Everybody's fucked and they don't even know.

And do me a favour, and ask if you need some help
She said, do me a favour and stop flattering yourself
How to tear apart the ties that bind
Perhaps fuck off, might be too kind
Perhaps fuck off, might be too kind

Do you remember me?

I killed your family

And now I’m going to kill you too

I made your brother bleed

I made your father scream

And I made your mother say those things she said to me

She said “do with me what you want but please don’t hurt my family

Take my pride, take my life, take my body but don’t take the ones that are close to me

Take my pride, take my life, take my body but don’t take the ones that I love”

And I continued without mercy

So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection

Of a coward you and I both hate very much

And then I grabbed the knife

And I let the blood out of your throat

And I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull

And I got to thinking that

If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven

If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven

If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven

If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven

Might go to heaven

But probably not